In this blog we look at co-sleeping – the benefits and alternative options.
Why we let our dogs sleep in our bed (Clare)
When we were interviewed as potential adopters, one of the questions we were asked was, “Where will the dog sleep?” We confidently replied, “Downstairs, with our other dog.” We answered without hesitation, completely unaware of how hilariously wrong we were going to be.
When we first brought our rescue Setter, Lando, home we were determined to do things “properly.” Like many dog owners, we thought we were doing the “right” thing by setting boundaries. We were determined to teach him to settle in in his own space, away from our bed.
We thought letting a dog in the bed was a step too far, like turning your bedroom into a kennel with throw pillows. We had visions of muddy paws on the duvet, dog hair and…the dog smells.
The first week, he was a little star. I camped downstairs with him on the sofa and he settled beautifully. But the moment I returned to my own bed upstairs, everything changed.
Night after night, he barked, whined, paced, and generally made sure that none of us slept. Not him, not us, not even the neighbours, probably. Even with our other dog beside him, he just couldn’t cope. We tried all the tricks: blankets that smelled like us, calming music, enough Pet Remedy to tranquilise a small horse. Nothing worked.
After months of sleep deprivation that made us look like extras from a zombie apocalypse movie, we brought in a professional dog behaviourist. She took one look at Lando curled up on my lap and said:
“I think he’d be a much happier dog if he slept with you.”
She was right. That very night, we invited him up to the bedroom. He climbed into bed, gave us both a grateful lick, curled up like a little cinnamon roll, and fell fast asleep.
And we slept. For the first time in months.
Within days, he was calmer and more confident. The accidents stopped. The pacing stopped. The barking stopped. He just needed to feel safe and that meant being close to us.
Building trust and reducing anxiety in dogs
Adopting a rescue dog is a big change, for them and for you. Imagine suddenly finding yourself in a new house, with strangers, and no idea what’s going on. No wonder the dark night-times can be the hardest.
Sleeping near you, where they can hear your breathing, feel your warmth, and rest their head on you, helps your dog settle in. That closeness builds trust and speeds up the bonding process. It also makes training easier, because a dog who feels safe is a dog who can learn. A well-rested dog is likely to be a happier dog and less likely to show disruptive behaviours.
Be there when they need you most
Dogs aren’t just looking for a pillow with good neck support. They need you.
When your dog sleeps nearby, you can catch the little signs that they need something: a huff, a wiggle, a “please-let-me-out-before-I-pee” shuffle. Sometimes all it takes is a gentle hand on their back or a reassuring word, and they will settle again.
And honestly, there is something quite magical about hearing your dog let out a sigh and knowing that you are their safe place.
Sleeping with dogs benefits humans too
We thought letting the dog in the bed would disturb our sleep. However, we were already not sleeping.
I read studies that show that co-sleeping with dogs can actually improve your sleep and health. Dog’s breathing, and their warm body curled beside yours, can help make you healthier by lowering your heart rate and blood pressure. It can also help with anxiety and insomnia. It’s like having a weighted blanket with a wagging tail.
Tips for safe & happy co-sleeping
If you’re thinking about letting your dog sleep in your room, a few small adjustments can make things easier for everyone. First, decide where you are happy for them to sleep. Whether it’s at the foot of the bed, beside you, or in their own bed on the floor.
Be consistent so they understand what’s allowed (dogs are creatures of habit). Always make sure they have had a trip outside before bedtime. Trust me, this step saves everyone a midnight dash. And, if you are planning to share your bed long-term, consider upgrading your bed. We have now got one big enough to accommodate two humans and three dogs — it comfortably fits what feels like a small circus, and honestly, we wouldn’t have it any other way.
Letting Lando sleep with us was one of the best decisions we have made as dog owners. It gave him security, helped him settle, and brought us all closer.
It turns out that sometimes, doing the “right” thing isn’t about sticking to your training goals. It’s about listening, really listening, to your dog. If that means sharing your bed with a slightly smelly, hairy, four-legged snuggle buddy, so be it. At the end of the day, dogs aren’t trying to be difficult. They are just trying to feel safe. And sometimes, all it takes is letting them climb into bed with you.
So if you are wondering whether to let your dogs sleep in your bed, give it a try! You might wake up happier, and with a nose in your face.
The other way of doing it (Nicola)
Why co-sleeping isn’t for everyone
We understand that co-sleeping isn’t always possible or desirable. You may not want — or be able — to have your dog sleep in your bed or bedroom. Upstairs might be a cat-only zone, or you may have young children who wake and move around at night. Whatever the reason, there are still ways to help your dog settle so that everyone can eventually get some rest.
Creating safe spaces
When I brought Rocky home, my three cats had never lived with a dog before so I had prepared the house, put up a stairgate, given them food and water upstairs, and made it their safe space. He was not going to be allowed up there until they were all happy living in the same house (which ended up taking a while – see Introducing cats & dogs).
Sleeping nearby
In the meantime, I slept on the sofa to be close to him. The first few nights were very restless, but eventually he started to relax. On night four I tried sleeping in my own bed, but like Lando, he barked and whined until I returned downstairs. Sofa-sleeping isn’t perfect, but it’s still sleep! Being nearby really helps dogs feel safe enough to rest, and it’s also handy for those middle-of-the-night toilet trips (a lifesaver in the early training days).
Transitioning to independence
Eventually, Rocky became confident enough to sleep alone downstairs, and I could reclaim my bed. Since then, more dogs have joined our family, the stairgate is gone, and although they’re allowed upstairs, they actually prefer to sleep downstairs. With foster dogs, I go back to sofa duty for the first week — it helps them settle and means I can quickly get everyone outside if needed.
An alternative option
Another approach is to start your dog off on a dog bed in your room. Once they’re more settled and toilet training is going well, you can gradually move the bed toward its long-term spot, building up the distance bit by bit.
Finding what works for you
At the end of the day, there’s no single “right” answer to the co-sleeping question. In the early days, the goal is simply for everyone — humans and dogs alike — to get some rest and recharge. Whether that means sharing a bed, a room, or spreading out across the house, it is entirely up to you.
